About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
