I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
