just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Acid is not a monday night drug
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
