:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
