Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
