Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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