I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
