I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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