office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
