Just fell off a train. Bad.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
