I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize