1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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