Duck Duck Cougar?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
where does the pee come out of this thing
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize