your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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