I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
