that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
