why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
