I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
