Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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