found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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