I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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