he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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