Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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