your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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