do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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