Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
