Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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