I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
