I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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