No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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