do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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