Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
