I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
