Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
