I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
