you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
