Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
