Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
