I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
