Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
