i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
