New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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