Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
