I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
