Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
