Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
