evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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