Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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