i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
