theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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