yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
