i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
