I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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