This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
