Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
