How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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