he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
