I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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