The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
