Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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