We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Still dying that you shit outside
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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