I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
