So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
