I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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