Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
